SCENE: A bookstore at Denver International Airport
Customer: Do you have the new Sarah Palin book?
Clerk: Which one? Going Rogue or The Persecution Of Sarah Palin?
Customer: I don't know. It's the new Sarah Palin book!
Clerk: Her own book, or the unauthorized yet still highly favorable account of her time on the presidential ticket?
Customer: HER! BOOK!
Clerk: No, not yet. The release date isn't until next week.
Clerk (sub voca): Even though it was written by a ghost writer.
Customer: Oh come on! Everybody has it!
Clerk: I'm sorry, sir. The official release date isn't until the 17th.
Customer: I know you have them! Sell me a copy right now!
Clerk: I'm sorry, sir. Even if I did have a copy in the store (which I do not), we are not allowed to sell books before their official release date.
Customer: You know what I think? I think you're just part-and-parcel of the left-wing conspiracy against Sarah Palin! You wouldn't even sell her book if you DID have copies!
Clerk (motioning to copies of The Persecution of Sarah Palin sitting behind him): I assure you, sir, that that is not the case.
Customer: I want to talk to your manager! Right now!
Clerk: Certainly, sir. Here is my General Manager's business card. She is available for all customers to speak with at any time.
Customer: Good! I want you fired for this!
[Insert 5-minutes of Customer yelling at General Manager]
Customer (putting away his phone): I'm reporting you to the BBB! And FOX News!
[Phone rings. General Manager is calling the store.]
General Manager: What. The. Hell.
Clerk: Don't worry. That pretty much sums it all up.
[Clerk facedesks repeatedly. In front of customers. Repeat facedesk until fractured skull.]