31 July, 2005

How Would YOU Spend $0.04?

Thanks to Amanda over at Pandagon for spotting this little gem.


My mother reads this column. So, trust me, I don't plan to talk about sex toys any more than I have to. I'm no expert on the subject, either. But I do know they're not worth a multi-billion dollar tax increase.


Recently, it came to light that a sculpture entitled "Twelve Dildos on Hooks" was purchased with $5,000 in state funds. Actually, no, I take that back: when she applied for government funding, the artist, Tsehai Johnson, changed the title of her work to "Large Implements on Hooks.
The remainder of the article happens to be entirely about the evils of Referendums C and D coming up on the November ballot. Standard anti-tax fare, so I won't submit anyone to it here. So rather than listing it all off, instead I'll sum it up in one line...

Taxes are bad, mmm-kay?

But the ever-resourceful Amanda (and I admit, I tend to just gloss over her posts, as she's almost too far to the left for my tastes) did the advanced mathmatics for us.

I did the math and decided to figure out if in fact your average person does in fact pinch their pennies this hard. Of course, I'm not so great at math, but my handy calculator and I figured that if you scaled this $3.6 billion tax raise down to my annual salary, then the portion of my money that would have gone to this piece of art is 4 cents. I would totally spend 4 cents on a rack of dildos.
Makes this issue seem like pocket change, doesn't it? But I will bet that the Colorado GOP will spend millions on ads based off of this.

How Low The Mighty...

This is just disturbing to me.

Their motto is: "Be prepared." But as the disaster-riddled National Boy Scout Jamboree carries on following five deaths and hundreds of heat-related illnesses, event planners from across the country are wondering just how prepared the Scouts were.

Listen, I was a Scout for many a year. My father was a Scout. My grandfather was a Scout. And when/if I have a son, I'd encourage him to be a Scout as well. Scouting taught me more than both parents combined. Yet hearing about the Jamboree this summer is just making me shake my head in confusion.

Exhibit A, the location of the tent:
On Monday, four Scout leaders were electrocuted in front of several Scouts after they lost control of the towering metal pole at the center of a large, white dining tent, sending it toppling into nearby power lines.
Who the hell forgot to pack their brain? That's part of the basic safety rules, if I remember right, listed in the Boy Scouts Handbook. (It's been a while since I had my old handbook, and they might have taken that part out in later editions.) I hope that at least one person that was setting up the tent had the forethought to simply look up and make sure nothing would be getting in the way. This could easily have been avoided, and if there isn't a massive investigation into this I'm turning in my merit badge.

Exhibit B:
On Wednesday, 40,000 Scouting enthusiasts waited hours in the stifling heat for an appearance by President Bush, who ended up postponing his visit due to the threat of severe thunderstorms. Sun-sick Scouts began collapsing and more than 300 people were treated for heat-related illnesses.
Again, simple lack of brain. Everyone, man and boy alike, in that crowd should know the most common cause of heat stroke and dehydration by now: exposure to the sun over long periods of time. Admittedly, they couldn't do anything about the length of time, due to the Secret Service's rules about Presidential visits, but they could have prepared for high-heat, high-humidity conditions. Even passing out chilled water bottles would have helped immensely with the problem.

Now, I wasn't there, so I don't know for certain what they did or did not do to prevent this. But 300+ Scouts (adult or boy, they are all Scouts in my mind) needing medical treatment is too many by far, even allowing for the possibility of pre-existing medical conditions. Allowing for that, I wouldn't blink if it was between 25 and 50. But this is too much.

And for those that are saying that it was just an accident, this is an accident. Don't confuse the two. The tragic hike in the Sequoia National Park was an accident. The tragic events at the Jamboree were, to the highest degree, preventable.

The Dangers Of Terminal Insomnia

Yes, Susan. Terminal insomnia (defined by myself as "either I get to sleep soon or I shoot myself" rather than the medically correct version) is a horrible thing. Too much coffee during the day and hyperactive cats at night tends to keep one thinking random thoughts ad nauseum until you either burst or find an outlet.

Well, that's one problem solved, isn't it.

Even the name of this blog is an exercise in twisted can't-sleep-because-I'm-thinking-too-much logic.

  • First, I'm a Democrat. I mentioned up there that this is going to be mostly about politics, didn't I? And Democrats are almost always associated with the word "left" these days.
  • Second, I happen to live just off of Colfax Avenue, which anyone who lives here in the Denver area will know immediately what it means. The rest of you, click the link.
  • And third, whenever I have to give directions to someone, I'm always telling them to turn left off Colfax.
See? Insomniac logic at it's best. Or worst, which ever the case may be...