28 December, 2006

I'm In

John Edwards is to officially announce today.

Of all the '04 also-rans, Edwards was the one that showed the most promise to me. His ideas were (mostly) sensible. His policies were thought out. His ducks were in a row.

Label me as part of the bandwagon. Again.

But if it comes to Edwards against McCain... Then I might have a serious conflict.

Carpe jugulum.

18 December, 2006

No Tree

There will be no Christmas Tree here at Off Colfax World Headquarters.

Nor has there been in a while.

The answer is simple: the tree would not remain intact for longer than 48 hours.

First, Buffy, in all her glorious klutz-itude, would climb up it and cause the tree to overbalance severely, causing the tree to collapse into a sad heap of branches and twinkling lights causing the other two to come to either a) see what's going on or b) laugh at her silly butt which causes c) a massive cat fight that, in the midst of the three-cat furball, dumps the water reservoir onto all three cats, causing much insult and injury to their pride. Not to mention the carpet.

Then, once we clumsy humans upright their new plaything, Alice would get herself stuck somewhere in the smaller branches, causing the other two to come and either a) see what's going on or b) laugh at her silly butt, both of which would cause c) a massive cat fight which permanently removes the branches that we specifically chose the tree for, as they would be perfect places to hang certain ornaments that either of us have sentimental appreciation for.

Then Wendy will see all the shiny ornament balls and, thinking that there's a cat in there that is invading her territory, go immediately into ferocious attack-mode, causing much mayhem all by herself. The resulting noise will attract the other two who would either a) try to see what's going on or b) laugh at her silly butt, which would yet again cause c) a massive cat fight that permanently removes the branches we chose as substitute branches for the ornaments we wanted to hang on the first branches.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

My roommate and I haven't had a tree since 2004. The poor tree is going to die anyways. Why should we torture it to death in the meantime?

From The "I Can't Believe He Said That" Files

Via the Insta-deity:
"Those six people should have been arrested and prosecuted for pretending to be terrorists."
Newt, Newt, Newt... If you didn't exist, we'd have to make do with Rush Limbaugh.

Newt Gingrich should be arrested and prosecuted for pretending to be Pat Buchanan.

04 December, 2006

Evil Grin

I want the Colorado version of this one.

No. Seriously.

And on this license plate, just for that slight ironic touch.

Ai! Ai! Cthulhu fhtagn!

[Turn Signal: Zach Wendling]